What are your thoughts on cheating? Have you ever been cheated on? Is the old saying, once a cheater always a cheater, true? Can a cheater be trusted again?
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Debate Once a cheater always a cheater?
- Excommunicado
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I’ve been cheated on before and heard he’s got a new girlfriend he cheats on now
Forgive? Sure. It’s draining to hold a grudge. Trust? Never. They can have that second chance with someone else, but not me.
Can a cheater be trusted again? I don't think so, thankfully I never been cheated on myself. Though there's no reason to hold a grudge, just move on and try to find someone you can trust. There are faithful people out there, you just have to find them!
I agree with what’s been said so far. Maybe it’s generalising cheaters but if you’re a cheater then you probably deserve to be generalised. Life’s tough, sometimes you don’t get second chances.
I don’t generalise, it’s more that although ppl evolve and may well have learnt from their mistakes, we should have self-respect to walk away rather than putting ourselves at the risk of such psychological damage from yet another potential betrayal.
At the same time though, you see someone’s true colors when it comes to whether or not they’re honest under pressure. That cannot be forgotten, even if forgiven. I feel that to change such behavioural traits, one would have to undergo therapy. Again, many are sorry for being caught in the act, not for the impact of their actions on the other person.
At first I didn't have a relationship, but I can say that I wouldn't really like people who did it for the first time and I definitely wouldn't trust them anymore. Because if you really love how can you do it and who did you do it then no words can restore trust in you
I think it has more to do with the intention and drive for cheating. If the partner was the reason for the cheating either through lifestyle or attitude, then the cheater can always change. If it is something habitual, then, there is no remedy.
I have learned not to write off anyone with just the first or second mistakes. I don't believe that once a cheat, a person would always remain a cheat. It is only when chances are misused severally that I write people off.
We are nothing more than highly evolved primates. Monogamy is not natural but is advisable because if you get caught then all hell will break loose. I've been cheated on and have also been a cheater. The only reason that I will be faithful is because I don't want to lose her (my girlfriend) otherwise I would cheat...believe that.
I know the girl that I would cheat with too....but I will not do it. (but would like to)
I know the girl that I would cheat with too....but I will not do it. (but would like to)
I would agree with you that monogamy is unnatural to humans. I don't know about how it feels for a lady but for a man, it is just having to fight yourself to be with one partner. But common sense demands that so you don't get to complicate things for yourself.
Not in all cases though, I have seen some persons who where cheaters but actually changed after meeting someone special or when they decide to start a new life. While most people are not able to change form this.
I can confidently say that I have never cheated before, and that is why I can never condone a cheating partner. Once you cheat on me, it is game over, because I wouldn't accept something I can't do to someone.
There might be exception but I normally believe that once a cheater, this person will always be a cheater. People do not cheat suddenly, it is not something people do out of no where, it is ingrained in their mind and behavior.
Behavior can be influenced by unhappiness, alcohol, drugs, a spirit of revenge, etc. Remove these influencers and behavior can be modified. I used to cheat, I don't anymore as it is no longer "ingrained" in my mind.
Some things are situational. For instance, if someone is very hungry, he might steal, however, some things are deeply ingrained. I do believe that corrections can be done through behavioral therapy, but I also believe the success rate is very low.
A big problem is that the Bible and probably Quaran highly condemns adultery, but that fact remains that you can't force love. The girl has to love you because she wants to. Well, how can this be reconciled? On one hand, you're trying to be attractive as possible, but on the other hand, the holy books and conservative culture says the woman "has to be loyal" or she's a slut or whatever.
I completely agree with you on this, yes there have been some instances where cheaters have a complete change and they never go back to cheater. But you see doa who see cheating as normal simply because they are not married, so it gives them the right. These are the type that would go into marriage and still find it hard to stick to their wives alone.
Even though some people change, the character and temperament a person is born with always remain the same. Therefore, a fraudster is always a fraudster, and a cheater is always a cheater. A lot of people do not change, even though they try to.
That is what I believe too. Whatever situation that made someone cheat can still repeat itself given the chance. And so the cheating can occur again. If we are together and you cheat, I'm bolting straight away.